1 00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,226 ♪ I've been starting over 2 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,750 ♪ For a long time 3 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:57,666 ♪ I'm not ready For another day ♪ 4 00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,625 ♪ I fail at feeling new 5 00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:07,110 ♪ The time is right I'm only getting older ♪ 6 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,982 ♪ I'm not ready For the second wave ♪ 7 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:13,203 ♪ The weight Of seeing through ♪ 8 00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:17,860 ♪ No, be bolder 9 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,993 ♪ Golden light for miles 10 00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:25,998 ♪ I've been starting over For a long time ♪ 11 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,826 ♪ There's an answer for... 12 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:31,308 Dad! We're gonna be late! 13 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,745 Dad? 14 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,312 ♪ Wasted years 15 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:38,315 ♪ Waiting for a savior 16 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:41,405 ♪ I'm not made out For the simple path ♪ 17 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,365 ♪ I'll take it day to day 18 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,847 ♪ No, be bolder... 19 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:52,503 Wakey, wakey! 20 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,117 Angela! 21 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,336 Darius, you need to stop FaceTiming me so often. 22 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:04,341 ♪ Portions of my mind 23 00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,913 ♪ I'm not ready For the moment ♪ 24 00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:14,090 ♪ I'm not ready For the tide to change ♪ 25 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,137 ♪ I'm not ready For the silence ♪ 26 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,227 ♪ I'm not ready For the fear and shame ♪ 27 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:23,621 ♪ I'm not ready For the weight again ♪ 28 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:24,883 Shit. 29 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:30,193 ♪ Take me from myself 30 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:42,379 ♪ From myself 31 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:51,127 Is that one of Mom's recipes? 32 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,824 Yep. 33 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,264 - Looks good. - Thank you. 34 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,874 - Want to pray? - Yeah. 35 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,745 Okay. Thank you, Father, 36 00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:03,226 thank you, Father, for this food, for this food. 37 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:06,273 Many, many blessings, many, many blessings, ah-men, ah-men, amen. 38 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,752 Amen. 39 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,234 - Did you finish your work? - Yeah. 40 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,889 - Um, it was hard, but I called Isabella. - Isabella? 41 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:17,022 I thought she was not a good student. 42 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,634 She is, Dad. Where'd you hear that from? 43 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:23,028 Well, you told me last year she wasn't doing too well. 44 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,813 Especially not in math. 45 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:27,207 - That was last year. - Okay. 46 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,775 What's at 1:30? 47 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,518 Come on. 48 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,259 - Career Day. - Yeah. 49 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,653 Yeah. I'll be there. 50 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,786 It's just that there's the time change, and I-- 51 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,832 But this is the only time we have to talk. 52 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,226 I know that. - Darius, the breakfast is ready. 53 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,879 In a minute! 54 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,361 If we don't FaceTime, we won't talk. 55 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,884 How will we stay friends? 56 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,191 You need to make new friends, 57 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,454 - ones that live in your own time zone. - No, wait, please! 58 00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,457 Just go out and meet people. Make friends. 59 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,764 You'll be happier that way. You'll see. 60 00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:05,245 - Just, please, hold on. - Bye, Darius. 61 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,726 Didn't you hear me calling you? 62 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:21,348 My huevoshave gone cold, Rosa. 63 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,743 My huevos have gone cold. 64 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,397 - Christian? - Hey. 65 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,920 What are you doing, man? 66 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,794 I was just meditating. 67 00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,839 You all right, man? 68 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,406 Yeah. Yes. 69 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,539 Yeah, I'm good. I'm awesome. 70 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,019 Bullshit. 71 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:44,501 Did she kick you out again? 'Cause you can't 72 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:47,504 keep passing out in your car like this, man. 73 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,550 You're pissing everybody off in the building. 74 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,987 Yeah. No, you're right. Absolutely right. 75 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,728 Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 76 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,165 Also, it's the 5th, so if you could 77 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,472 drop your check off in my box, that would be great. 78 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:01,083 You know what happens when it's the 6th. 79 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,346 - That was... - Huh? 80 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,305 ...a one-time thing, okay? 81 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,915 That's great. 82 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,961 Cool. 83 00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:23,279 Sweetheart, please call us back. Your dad and I are worried. 84 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,151 We know what happened with the record label, honey. 85 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,676 I know you must feel terrible. 86 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,160 We just want you to know 87 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,902 that we love you no matter what. 88 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,643 Please give us a call, honey. Please? 89 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:42,080 - Ugh! - Ladies. 90 00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:46,041 Well, did you call 911? 91 00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,348 - Yes. - What'd they say? 92 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,306 Well, they said since he's already dead, 93 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,265 it's not technically an emergency. 94 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,703 - I don't know about that, but-- - What are you doing? 95 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,445 Documenting. It's the first part of any investigation. 96 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,577 This isn't an investigation. 97 00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,840 - It is now. - Ned, stop it. 98 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,234 If I see that on the Facebook... 99 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,323 Facebook? 100 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,281 I'm on Snapchat. 101 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:13,285 - I think we should move him. - Why? 102 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:16,506 Because the kids are gonna be walking right by here! 103 00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,857 The kids. That's right. 104 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,772 Do you think it would hurt him? 105 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,821 - Where should we put him? - Um, let's put him in the, uh, 106 00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,475 uh, up in the teacher's lounge. 107 00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,693 - Okay. - Okay. 108 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,521 Oh! 109 00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,438 Well, good morning. 110 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,787 Good morning. 111 00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,789 You're here early, aren't you? 112 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,400 Uh-huh. 113 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,837 Well, why don't you just take a seat, 114 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,404 and we'll be right back. 115 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,318 Okay. 116 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,842 Move! 117 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,113 Stop. 118 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,245 - Wait, please. - Stop. 119 00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:09,037 They told me to sit here while they moved the man. 120 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,823 Sounds good to me. 121 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,525 He's gone. 122 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:41,025 1:30. I don't want you to be late. 123 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,853 I'm not gonna be late. 124 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,464 - Promise? - Yeah. 125 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:50,774 - Who's that? - That's Mr. McCrow. He's the music teacher. 126 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,516 Is he smoking a cigarette? 127 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,344 Two. 128 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,651 Should he be doing that on campus? 129 00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,653 Probably not. 130 00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,306 Excuse me. 131 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,700 Excuse me! 132 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,877 Should you be smoking on school grounds? 133 00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,576 - I mean, the guy is smoking three-- - Dad! 134 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,882 - I don't under-- - Dad, I've gotta go. 135 00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:14,885 Okay. All right. 136 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,671 - One... - Thirty. 137 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,116 Darius? 138 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:31,075 Today's my last day. 139 00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,555 What? 140 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:35,558 I got a new job with a new family. 141 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:39,693 I'm sorry. I... I didn't know how to tell you. 142 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,172 You're leaving me? 143 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,261 It's just too much moving. 144 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,221 Will I still see you? 145 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:48,353 I hope so. 146 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:58,059 Got you some Rolos... to help you make friends. 147 00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,237 Bye, Rosa. 148 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,847 Bye, Darius. 149 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,687 All right, there. 150 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:20,472 Principal Nichols? 151 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,344 - Jesus! - I know. 152 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:25,608 We found him this morning next to a big pile of manure. 153 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,610 He must've passed away 154 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,526 before he had a chance to spread it over the lawn. 155 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,962 It's okay, Mindy. 156 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:36,140 But it really does make you think... 157 00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:37,968 about the anonymity of it all. 158 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,405 I mean, this man tended to our grounds for a decade. 159 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:43,234 we don't even know his name. 160 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:46,150 - Kevin. - What? 161 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:49,763 Kevin. His name was Kevin. 162 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,592 Kevin. 163 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:55,290 Thought it'd have been something more Mex... 164 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,860 more monosyllabic. 165 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,166 Like Joe, maybe, or, uh, Ted, 166 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,777 You know? A good Ted. 167 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,517 But Kevin? Ha! 168 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:08,608 Never heard of a gardener named Kevin. 169 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,523 Mindy, we need to leave him here so the kids don't see him. 170 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:14,962 Now, I've called the paramedics. They should be here soon. Oh! 171 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:18,356 You're just a big bag of surprises this morning, aren't you, Kev! 172 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:20,968 That'll do, Ned. 173 00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:23,231 Now, we've got to go out and do morning assembly. 174 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,494 When the paramedics arrive, lead them here and show them the body. 175 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:28,976 In the meantime, see if you can find his emergency contact information. 176 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,979 - We should notify his family. - Should I close the lounge? 177 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,459 Close the teacher's lounge? 178 00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:37,462 Do you have any idea what kind of shit storm that would unleash? No! 179 00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:41,728 Okay, but if we're gonna be storing a corpse here, don't you think-- 180 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,774 Hey, morning, everybody. 181 00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,776 Say, did you guys catch The Voicelast night? 182 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:50,127 There was this guy, had the face of a toad. 183 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,912 I mean, this guy was ugly, 184 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,957 even by amphibian standards, 185 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,307 but then he opens his mouth to sing, 186 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,832 and darned if that toad doesn't just turn into 187 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,834 a strapping young prince right before your very eyes. 188 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,574 But then I guess that's why they call it The Voice. 189 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,707 Excuse me. I'm sorry about this. 190 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,796 All right, have a good day. I'll see you later. 191 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,714 - Close the lounge. - Yeah, go ahead and close it. 192 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,368 Now. 193 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,947 - Hello? - Daniel? 194 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,600 - Yeah? - Daniel Crawford? 195 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:29,950 Yes. 196 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,213 This is Bob. 197 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,867 - Bob? - Nadine's wife. 198 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,825 Husband. Sorry, I meant husband. 199 00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,784 Listen, I know about you and Nadine. 200 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,569 - What? - Spare me the bewilderment, Danny. 201 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:43,050 I know it's happening, you know it's happening, we both know it's happening. 202 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:45,443 I'm calling because I want to get lunch with you. 203 00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,271 You want to get lunch with me? 204 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,317 - Yes. - Why? 205 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,232 Lots of reasons, 206 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,886 curiosity being the largest, I guess. 207 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,149 A man having sex with your wife, 208 00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:57,325 you're naturally inclined to compare yourself to him. 209 00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,762 It's masochistic but unavoidable. 210 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,417 Oh, and there's one other thing. I don't want to lie, 211 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,549 so I'm going to be very up-front about this. 212 00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:07,335 - I may kick your ass. - No, Bob-- 213 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,641 My secretary's going to call Nadine, and they'll set up a time for us. 214 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:12,035 I'm totally cock-fucked with appointments today, 215 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,776 but I think I'll be able to squeeze it in. 216 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,779 Look, Bob, can I call you later? Please, this-- 217 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,521 Sorry, Daniel, got to run. I've got a meeting I've been dreading all week. 218 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,784 Shit. 219 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,831 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 220 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,095 Morning, Daniel. 221 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,402 What's going on here? 222 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,969 The whole office has gone bat-shit. 223 00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,840 - That's what's going on. - Why? 224 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,016 - They're not saying. - Who? Who's not? 225 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,976 Building security. It's been like this since 6: 00 a.m. 226 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,368 They taped off the kitchen and won't say why. 227 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,892 Can we use the coffee machine? 228 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,371 Maybe you didn't hear me. 229 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,374 They taped off the kitchen! 230 00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:32,507 How am I supposed to get to my office? 231 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,248 You got to go down to the lobby and take the freight elevator. 232 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,685 - Are you kidding? - Do I look like I'm kidding? 233 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,035 This... This is ridiculous. 234 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:43,823 Don't expect me to cover for you, Daniel! 235 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,260 If you get caught, I'll roll over on you. Don't do-- Don't-- 236 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,828 ♪ To you 237 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,831 - ♪Happy birthday to you ♪ - Field Publishing. 238 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,399 Good morning, Daniel. I have some-- 239 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:58,272 - Bob called. - Shit. 240 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,320 - Look... - You ruined my life. 241 00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:06,671 - Do you hear me? You ruined my life! - I'm sorry. 242 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,674 Oh, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that you're sorry! 243 00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,938 In all fairness, I wasn't acting alone. 244 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:15,028 Don't you dare try to put this on me. You took advantage of me! 245 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:18,509 Took advantage? You sent me an email with a typo saying you wanted to blow me. 246 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,730 - Well, you took me up on the offer! - Yeah. 247 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:24,820 Let's not point fingers here. We'll figure this out. 248 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,257 Gonna figure this out. We're gonna figure this out? 249 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:29,999 That's easy for you to say. You don't have anyone to lose! 250 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,783 I'm sorry. That was mean. 251 00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,394 Bob wants to have lunch with me. 252 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,483 - And he's-- - My husband, Bob? 253 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,659 - Yes. - Wants to have lunch with you? 254 00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,617 - Yes. - What's he gonna say to you? 255 00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,706 What are you gonna say to him? What are you gonna tell him? 256 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,708 Are you gonna tell him about the... 257 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,754 Don't tell him. Do not tell him. 258 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,365 - Don't talk to Bob! - I'm telling you because he said 259 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:51,934 he was going to have his assistant contact you and schedule it for today. 260 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,981 You can't have lunch with him today. He's cock-fucked with appointments today. 261 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,940 Yeah, he said that. He said that exactly, actually. 262 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,160 Oh! 263 00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:02,640 Oh, this is rich. 264 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,773 Enjoy your lunch with Bob, Daniel. 265 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,776 And he's gluten-free, so don't fuck it up! 266 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,649 Go through it. 267 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,349 Give it here. 268 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,309 What's this? 269 00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:21,877 You know I'm allergic to nuts, idiot. 270 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,316 I'll be back. Hey, you're new. 271 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,405 - What? - You're new. 272 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,929 Yes. This is my first day. 273 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,583 - I like your glasses. - Thanks. 274 00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,325 What are these, crystal? 275 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,371 Can I have my glasses back? 276 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,807 I'll think about it. 277 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,896 Come on. I need them for class. 278 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,812 You can have them back if you beat me in a pushing contest. 279 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:46,336 What's a pushing contest? 280 00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:51,124 Come on, let's go. 281 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:59,480 ♪ Now, I don't Hardly know her ♪ 282 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:05,181 - Thanks. - Of course. 283 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,967 You might want to stay away from Rufus. 284 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,533 Right. 285 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,405 What class are you looking for? 286 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:14,495 - 17-A, I think. - Um, you're in my class. 287 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,497 Come on. Follow me. 288 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:25,071 ♪ And when she comes Walking over ♪ 289 00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,987 I know you guys are all super excited 290 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,641 for your parents to come this afternoon for Career Day, 291 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,644 but we have a lot of work to do this morning, so we're just gonna get going 292 00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,820 on our crazy busy day, all right? 293 00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,692 Uh, Rufus, are those your eyeglasses? 294 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,694 - No. - Take them off. 295 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,175 We're gonna start with going over last night's homework 296 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:45,787 before preparing for the chapter test on Friday. 297 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:50,487 ♪ And I'm not Such a sweet thing ♪ 298 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:56,493 ♪ I wanna do everything 299 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:03,065 ♪ What a beautiful feeling 300 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:08,723 ♪ Crimson and clover 301 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,779 Hey. 302 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,566 Look, it's not important which direction you go. 303 00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:28,090 What's important is that you commit. 304 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,050 If you're gonna go left, go left. 305 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,443 If you're gonna go right, just go right, all right? 306 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:37,186 Don't dick around and teeter from foot to foot. 307 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,841 Just choose, 308 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,844 commit, and move. 309 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:45,455 You got it? Say it back to me. 310 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,196 Choose, commit, move. 311 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,719 Yeah. 312 00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,895 That's great. Okay? 313 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,605 What was that all about? 314 00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,998 Nadine, she-- 315 00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,565 It's nothing. 316 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,263 Look, Lenny, I can't really talk. 317 00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,352 I have some stuff I need to finish early 318 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:15,659 so I can get to Patricia's career day. 319 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,183 You ever done one of those before? 320 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,968 - No. - Wait, you got a plan? 321 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,144 Those kids can be rough, man. 322 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,755 It's not like standing up 323 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,670 and talking in front of a group of 40-year-olds, 324 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,542 I can tell you that much. 325 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,805 Career day is an event. 326 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:34,156 It's a happening. It's a happening of monumental proportions. 327 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,506 Those little fuckers can be brutal. 328 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,160 You-You've been to one? 329 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,510 Last year. My nephew. 330 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,425 I was sure that they were gonna love me, 331 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:45,515 that I was gonna leave that classroom a champ. 332 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,692 They made me feel like a loser. 333 00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,694 Let me give you some advice. 334 00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,784 Don't lie. They can tell, and they hate you for it. 335 00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,744 - I don't care what they think. - Yeah, but Patricia cares. 336 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,746 Oh. 337 00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:02,576 We've got a department meeting in the conference room. 338 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:05,492 Building security called it. 339 00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,624 Come on. I'll race you. 340 00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,891 All right, everyone, stop your talking. 341 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,067 Stop your talking! 342 00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:23,684 My name's Arthur Schneedy. 343 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:27,253 Corporate transferred me over here to shape this department up, 344 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:29,429 and shape it up I shall. 345 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,737 I want to be brief so we can all get back to work, so I'm just gonna 346 00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:37,088 turn it over to the head of building security, Melanie Brickman. 347 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,482 - Melanie, you want to take it? - Uh, it's Melissa, sir. 348 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,137 - Melissa. Melissa Brickman. - Thank you. 349 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,226 Good morning, people. 350 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,750 My name's Melissa Brickman. 351 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,144 My friends call me Brick, 352 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,190 but none of you are my friends, 353 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,888 so you can just disregard that little peek behind the curtain. 354 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,717 I'm sure you've all noticed 355 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,633 the yellow caution tape blocking off the hallway, 356 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:02,026 And I'm sure the "foodies" among you 357 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:06,161 have noticed the department kitchen is closed. 358 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,597 Right? 359 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,643 Well, I'm here to explain why. 360 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:12,167 Got here around 5:00 this morning. 361 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,952 Did my usual rounds. Nothing was out of the ordinary. 362 00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,216 Everything seemed hunky-dory. 363 00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:22,264 It wasn't until about 6:00, when Mr. Schneedy called 364 00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:24,310 and informed me 365 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:27,704 that something was, in fact, amiss. 366 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:31,142 Mr. Schneedy, 367 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:33,014 you wanna go ahead and tell them what you told me? 368 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:35,277 First thing I did in the morning, 369 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,453 I made a beeline for the coffee machine. 370 00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:40,326 I fired that baby up, I gave her a few minutes, 371 00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:44,286 came back to pour myself a cup of joe. 372 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,289 but when I tipped the carafe, nothing came out. 373 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,726 Not a goddamn drop. 374 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:56,037 At first I was confused, I was disoriented. 375 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,126 And then I spotted it. 376 00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:02,086 The power cord had been slashed. 377 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:04,393 That's right. 378 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:07,744 Somebody sabotaged the coffee machine. 379 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:13,272 Ah, but it gets worse. 380 00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:18,320 Next to the broken appliance, 381 00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:20,279 I found the following note: 382 00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:23,456 "Fuck Field Publishing." 383 00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:27,286 And it is adorned with a god-awful drawing 384 00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,331 of a human penis, 385 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,595 just shy of climax. 386 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:34,684 Now, once Mr. Schneedy 387 00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,469 informed us about the crime, 388 00:21:36,512 --> 00:21:39,341 my boys did a sweep of the department kitchen 389 00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:41,561 and concluded that 390 00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:43,476 the machine had been sabotaged, 391 00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:46,479 most likely over the weekend. 392 00:21:46,522 --> 00:21:49,873 So, the only people who would've had access are 393 00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:53,050 employees of Field Publishing, 394 00:21:53,094 --> 00:21:55,009 accounts department, 395 00:21:55,052 --> 00:21:57,011 which means everyone in this room. 396 00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:59,622 Now, Mr. Schneedy has requested an investigation, 397 00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:02,669 so we're gonna be setting up shop in the conference room next door. 398 00:22:02,712 --> 00:22:06,499 We're just gonna ask you all to stop by, answer a few questions. 399 00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:10,111 With all of your cooperation, we hope to settle this matter 400 00:22:10,154 --> 00:22:11,939 by the end of the day. 401 00:22:14,071 --> 00:22:16,596 That's all I have for them at this point, sir. 402 00:22:21,731 --> 00:22:24,430 I'm not a stupid man. 403 00:22:26,693 --> 00:22:28,390 I get it. I'm hip. 404 00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:30,305 Let's keep it real. 405 00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:33,656 I know what you're all thinking. 406 00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:35,441 New guy comes in. 407 00:22:35,484 --> 00:22:37,225 Whoa. 408 00:22:37,268 --> 00:22:41,142 he's overreacting to a relatively minor incident, 409 00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:43,536 but let me be clear: 410 00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:47,409 This is not about an electrical appliance. 411 00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:50,194 This is about vandalism. 412 00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:55,330 All right, you can go. 413 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,464 One more thing. Uh, when you're done talking to Brick, 414 00:22:58,507 --> 00:23:02,206 I want you to shoot by my office, introduce yourselves. 415 00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:03,947 I want you to come prepared with your name, 416 00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:06,515 your favorite work achievement, 417 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:08,430 and one interesting fact about yourself. 418 00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:11,825 It'll be a good way for me to get to know you all. 419 00:23:15,089 --> 00:23:17,004 - This guy's dead. - Yeah. 420 00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:18,701 Well, this is how I found him. 421 00:23:18,745 --> 00:23:20,442 He was lying dead like this outside 422 00:23:20,486 --> 00:23:22,488 - by a pile of manure. - A big pile of manure. 423 00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:24,881 He was outside? 424 00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:27,406 - Yes. - And how did he get inside? 425 00:23:28,494 --> 00:23:30,757 - We moved him. - You moved him? 426 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,107 You bet we did. 427 00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:35,631 I mean, we had to wheelbarrow him up those stairs. It was a workout. 428 00:23:35,675 --> 00:23:37,894 Do you know that moving a dead person 429 00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:39,461 without the consent of the family 430 00:23:39,505 --> 00:23:41,985 or civic authority is illegal? 431 00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:43,813 - Totally! - Wha-- Wha-- 432 00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:45,511 She gave the orders on that one. 433 00:23:45,554 --> 00:23:47,687 Well, what were we supposed to do? 434 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:50,167 We can't leave a corpse in the middle of a field. 435 00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:52,169 This school isn't public. 436 00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:53,867 Next time you move a dead body, 437 00:23:53,910 --> 00:23:55,608 just make sure you ask permission first. 438 00:23:55,651 --> 00:23:57,827 Well, hopefully there won't be a next time. 439 00:23:57,871 --> 00:24:00,395 Lady, there's always a next time. 440 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,615 Well, aren't you going to take him with you? 441 00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:05,444 - We're paramedics. - So? 442 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:08,447 We don't deal with dead bodies, we deal with dying people. 443 00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:10,579 Whoa! So you're just gonna leave him here? 444 00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:15,018 We can't just drive dead bodies around the city, okay? 445 00:24:15,062 --> 00:24:18,195 We need to keep our van open for real medical emergencies. 446 00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:21,068 You know, people with strokes or heart attacks. 447 00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:23,723 People that have fallen off of buildings, that sort of thing. 448 00:24:23,766 --> 00:24:25,812 Well, what are we supposed to do with him? 449 00:24:27,291 --> 00:24:30,469 - Call the coroner. - Oh, my God. I can't-- No! 450 00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:33,167 You're actually going to leave a dead body in our teacher's lounge? 451 00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:35,430 You're the one who moved him. 452 00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,479 What are they doing? 453 00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:42,568 They took the donuts. 454 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:45,962 What... They're not taking the body? 455 00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:49,226 Well, apparently, he's too dead for them. 456 00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:51,925 - What? - Did you tell everyone the lounge is closed? 457 00:24:51,968 --> 00:24:54,884 - Yeah. They weren't too happy. - No shit. 458 00:24:54,928 --> 00:24:57,496 What about his emergency contacts? 459 00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:59,410 We don't have anything on file for him, 460 00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:01,151 so I called the landscaping company, 461 00:25:01,195 --> 00:25:03,589 but they have four Kevins on staff. 462 00:25:03,632 --> 00:25:06,417 What? Ha! 463 00:25:06,461 --> 00:25:09,856 Are you serious? They got four gardeners over there named Kevin? 464 00:25:09,899 --> 00:25:11,510 Yeah. So? 465 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,903 So, I'm still trying to absorb the fact 466 00:25:13,947 --> 00:25:15,688 that there's one gardener named Kevin, 467 00:25:15,731 --> 00:25:18,647 and you come in here and tell me there are four? 468 00:25:18,691 --> 00:25:21,345 I feel like it's a set of Russian dolls. 469 00:25:21,389 --> 00:25:23,913 I just keep, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin! 470 00:25:23,957 --> 00:25:26,089 - Kevins coming out of my ears! - Stop! 471 00:25:26,133 --> 00:25:30,137 Just find out which Kevin he is and contact his family. 472 00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:34,620 In the meantime, I am going to reach out to the coroner. 473 00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:36,752 Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, wait. Mindy, Mindy-- 474 00:25:36,796 --> 00:25:39,363 The Bayeux Tapestry is a record 475 00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:42,105 of all the Norman conquests, which is amazing, 476 00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:44,630 because they were actually able to weave and-- 477 00:25:46,153 --> 00:25:48,764 All right, guys, see you after art class. 478 00:26:12,919 --> 00:26:14,703 Excuse me. 479 00:26:14,747 --> 00:26:16,531 Can I have a word? 480 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:18,011 Um, sure. 481 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:22,363 In private, if you don't mind. 482 00:26:22,406 --> 00:26:24,234 Okay. 483 00:26:29,239 --> 00:26:31,198 Oh, my gosh! 484 00:26:31,241 --> 00:26:33,461 - Would you like a Rolo? - What are Rolos? 485 00:26:33,504 --> 00:26:36,769 They're candies. Adult candies. 486 00:26:37,813 --> 00:26:39,902 Thank you. 487 00:26:42,688 --> 00:26:45,604 So, um, what did you want to talk to me about? 488 00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:48,302 - I wanted to thank you for helping me this morning. - Oh, yeah. 489 00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:50,434 Don't worry about it. 490 00:26:54,395 --> 00:26:56,223 It's tough being the new kid. 491 00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:58,921 People, they seem to pick on you. 492 00:26:58,965 --> 00:27:00,923 - Yeah. - I'm used to it, though. 493 00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:03,012 I've been to tons of different schools. 494 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,885 - You have? - I just moved from London. 495 00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:09,453 I've lived everywhere-- Chicago, New York, 496 00:27:09,497 --> 00:27:11,325 Mumbai-- that was hot. 497 00:27:13,153 --> 00:27:15,372 - I'm Darius. - Nice to meet you. 498 00:27:15,416 --> 00:27:17,636 I was named after Darius the Great. 499 00:27:18,985 --> 00:27:20,769 Who is Darius the Great? 500 00:27:20,813 --> 00:27:23,380 - A musician. - Cool. 501 00:27:23,424 --> 00:27:26,645 Well, I'm Patricia. I was named after my grandma. 502 00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:29,865 - I bet she was a lovely woman. - She's not dead. 503 00:27:29,909 --> 00:27:32,302 Oh, good. 504 00:27:36,524 --> 00:27:38,744 Hey, Christian. 505 00:27:41,181 --> 00:27:43,226 You'll like this. 506 00:27:43,270 --> 00:27:46,926 Mike Friedlander shat his pants in my class this morning. 507 00:27:46,969 --> 00:27:49,711 Right there at his desk. 508 00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:51,757 He gets this concentrated look on his face, 509 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,281 and I'm thinking, there's no way 510 00:27:54,324 --> 00:27:58,067 he's that into my lecture on sanding and then... pfft! 511 00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:02,376 Whole room smells like a five-week-old order of chicken tikka masala. 512 00:28:03,638 --> 00:28:05,466 The boy is 12 years old. 513 00:28:05,509 --> 00:28:08,382 When does it end? 514 00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,689 You all right? What's going on? 515 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,607 When a man loses everything, 516 00:28:16,651 --> 00:28:18,914 what's he got left? 517 00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:22,048 Is this a trick question or something? 518 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:24,093 No. 519 00:28:25,878 --> 00:28:28,054 Uh... nothing. 520 00:28:28,097 --> 00:28:31,361 If a man loses everything, he has nothing left. 521 00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:33,842 Yeah, that's about right. 522 00:28:33,886 --> 00:28:38,020 You all right? You seem more down than usual. 523 00:28:39,805 --> 00:28:41,894 Over the weekend, I had this realization. It's like, 524 00:28:41,937 --> 00:28:46,246 - we spend our entire lives-- - Shit, they got the table saw. 525 00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:48,770 Isaac! Put the blade down! 526 00:28:48,814 --> 00:28:50,990 Isaac! 527 00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:53,383 - How long have you lived here? - My whole life. 528 00:28:53,427 --> 00:28:55,168 Your whole life? 529 00:28:55,211 --> 00:28:57,866 Wow. Must be nice to have that kind of stability. 530 00:28:57,910 --> 00:29:00,564 - I guess. - I used to. 531 00:29:00,608 --> 00:29:02,305 Then my mom died. 532 00:29:02,349 --> 00:29:03,959 Your mom died? 533 00:29:04,003 --> 00:29:06,048 Yeah. 534 00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:07,789 My mom did too. 535 00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,530 Really? That's so-- 536 00:29:09,573 --> 00:29:13,012 Uh, I think we got to go to class now. 537 00:29:13,055 --> 00:29:14,622 - Right. - Bye. 538 00:29:14,665 --> 00:29:17,103 Patricia! 539 00:29:18,104 --> 00:29:19,409 Yes? 540 00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:25,024 - Will you go with me? - Darius-- 541 00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:28,375 Look, I know it's a big decision, so... 542 00:29:28,418 --> 00:29:31,595 how about you think about it and tell me at lunch before Career Day? 543 00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:34,250 Sure. 544 00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:35,556 Okay. 545 00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:37,471 Patricia? 546 00:29:45,392 --> 00:29:48,090 We got to find the Swiss Army knife. 547 00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:50,789 - What? - Find the Swiss Army knife. 548 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:52,834 What do you mean, "find the Swiss Army knife"? 549 00:29:52,878 --> 00:29:54,923 Well, clearly whoever did this used a Swiss Army knife. 550 00:29:54,967 --> 00:29:58,448 - Why do you say that? - I watch a lot of NCIS, Daniel, 551 00:29:58,492 --> 00:30:02,496 and after a while you pick up on certain investigative tactics. 552 00:30:02,539 --> 00:30:04,150 Isn't NCISthe navy one? 553 00:30:04,193 --> 00:30:06,065 Just because the crimes are aquatic 554 00:30:06,108 --> 00:30:07,806 don't mean that the techniques are any less useful. 555 00:30:07,849 --> 00:30:10,243 Gotta pay attention to the little details. 556 00:30:10,286 --> 00:30:12,680 That cord was cut clean. 557 00:30:12,723 --> 00:30:14,813 That was a sharp blade. 558 00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:17,380 All we got in the kitchen are those little plastic knives. 559 00:30:17,424 --> 00:30:19,905 You can't even cut a bagel with one of those. 560 00:30:19,948 --> 00:30:21,994 No. It's not a scissor. 561 00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:24,039 That'd be like gnawing at that cord. 562 00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:26,172 Nah, this is a sharp blade. 563 00:30:26,215 --> 00:30:28,739 Not a little Swiss Army knife for your cuticles but, like, 564 00:30:28,783 --> 00:30:31,220 a pocket knife, Swiss Army knife. 565 00:30:31,264 --> 00:30:33,875 - Kinda makes sense. - "Kinda"? 566 00:30:33,919 --> 00:30:36,617 No, it does make sense. It's like The Fugitive. 567 00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:39,838 - I don't want to hear about The Fugitiveagain. - Find the one-armed man. 568 00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:43,189 But we're not looking for a one-armed man, we're looking for 569 00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:46,192 a two-armed man with a Swiss Army knife. 570 00:30:46,235 --> 00:30:49,412 - This is Daniel. - Daniel, security is ready to see you. 571 00:30:54,983 --> 00:30:57,246 - How are you, Daniel? - Good. 572 00:30:57,290 --> 00:31:00,423 Good. Care for anything to drink? Water, soda, anything like that? 573 00:31:00,467 --> 00:31:02,295 No, thanks. I'm okay. 574 00:31:02,338 --> 00:31:04,253 Coffee? 575 00:31:04,297 --> 00:31:06,342 I thought the coffee machine was broken. 576 00:31:06,386 --> 00:31:07,953 I was just kidding. 577 00:31:07,996 --> 00:31:10,129 You got your wits about you. 578 00:31:10,172 --> 00:31:13,132 You'd be shocked how many we fool with that one. 579 00:31:13,175 --> 00:31:14,873 Okay, children, 580 00:31:14,916 --> 00:31:17,223 little ones, friends. 581 00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:20,008 Jesus. 582 00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:25,274 Look, um, I know I said we would be 583 00:31:25,318 --> 00:31:28,712 working on recorders today, which is fun, 584 00:31:28,756 --> 00:31:31,019 always is, but, um... 585 00:31:31,063 --> 00:31:33,282 there's been a change of plans. 586 00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:35,981 Uh... What's up, Nathan? 587 00:31:36,024 --> 00:31:37,852 I need to go to the bathroom. 588 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:41,334 I sympathize with you, my man, but, um, 589 00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,510 I can't let anybody leave today, all right? 590 00:31:43,553 --> 00:31:45,947 The lesson's just too important, 591 00:31:45,991 --> 00:31:47,557 yeah, and, uh... 592 00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,473 it actually might be the most important lesson 593 00:31:50,517 --> 00:31:53,433 that you've ever learned, and, uh, trust me, 594 00:31:53,476 --> 00:31:55,914 you'll learn it. 595 00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:59,265 I'll get started. Okay, so, uh... 596 00:31:59,308 --> 00:32:02,442 today, guys, I just want to 597 00:32:02,485 --> 00:32:04,705 talk to you about... 598 00:32:07,664 --> 00:32:10,624 - Fear? - Failure! 599 00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:12,669 Yeah. 600 00:32:12,713 --> 00:32:14,541 Failure. 601 00:32:14,584 --> 00:32:17,413 What time did you arrive at work this morning, Daniel? 602 00:32:17,457 --> 00:32:19,763 Around 9:00, I think. 603 00:32:19,807 --> 00:32:22,288 When you got here at 9:00, what did you do? 604 00:32:22,331 --> 00:32:24,551 I walked in, and I saw, 605 00:32:24,594 --> 00:32:27,641 you know, the... the crime scene. 606 00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:30,600 I asked what was going on, and then I went into my office. 607 00:32:30,644 --> 00:32:33,212 Daniel, 608 00:32:33,255 --> 00:32:35,301 look me in the eye. 609 00:32:35,344 --> 00:32:37,912 Did you sabotage the coffee machine? 610 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,306 - Are you serious? - Oh, I'm dead serious. 611 00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:42,699 - It's a simple yes-or-no question. - No. 612 00:32:42,743 --> 00:32:45,659 Daniel, look me in the eyes. 613 00:32:45,702 --> 00:32:47,530 - Did you sabotage-- - No! 614 00:32:47,574 --> 00:32:49,141 Let me finish the question. 615 00:32:49,184 --> 00:32:51,012 I know what you're going to ask. 616 00:32:51,056 --> 00:32:54,059 Wow. You seem to have a strange affinity for telepathy. 617 00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:57,279 I did not sabotage the coffee machine. 618 00:32:59,194 --> 00:33:01,327 That'll be all, Mr. Crawford. Thank you. 619 00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:06,027 - You all right? - No, it's a full-on interrogation. 620 00:33:06,071 --> 00:33:08,116 What? 621 00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:15,602 Hey, don't forget to go meet the new boss. 622 00:33:17,952 --> 00:33:19,562 Damn it! 623 00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:22,565 Yell at me... 624 00:33:22,609 --> 00:33:25,046 And it all boils down to this. 625 00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:27,048 All right, this is the moment of clarity, wherein 626 00:33:27,092 --> 00:33:30,878 pessimism gives way to nihilism, 627 00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:34,316 and nihilism gives way to acceptance, right? 628 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,711 We will all reach this day. 629 00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:40,844 And for me, 630 00:33:40,888 --> 00:33:42,629 that day... 631 00:33:43,673 --> 00:33:45,675 is today. 632 00:33:47,329 --> 00:33:49,462 Today's that day. 633 00:33:49,505 --> 00:33:52,291 - Daniel Crawford. - Go on in, hon. 634 00:33:54,989 --> 00:33:57,078 Daniel Crawford, sir. 635 00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:01,517 - Please. - Thank you. 636 00:34:02,736 --> 00:34:05,391 How was your, uh, meeting with Brick? 637 00:34:05,434 --> 00:34:08,785 Fine. I mean, it was a little intense. 638 00:34:08,829 --> 00:34:11,136 Intense? How? 639 00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:14,922 They're really just treating this whole thing like it's a major crime. 640 00:34:16,271 --> 00:34:19,100 Which makes sense. 641 00:34:19,144 --> 00:34:21,798 Well, the whole purpose of this sit-down is just 642 00:34:21,842 --> 00:34:24,801 for me to get to know you, so... let's hear it. 643 00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:27,543 Okay. My name is Daniel Crawford. 644 00:34:27,587 --> 00:34:29,893 My proudest work achievement, 645 00:34:29,937 --> 00:34:33,549 I would say, I-I guess, is... 646 00:34:33,593 --> 00:34:36,813 securing the Bridgewater account-- that was a big deal. 647 00:34:36,857 --> 00:34:39,033 - The Bridgewater account? - Yes. 648 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,470 That was-- That was your achievement? 649 00:34:41,514 --> 00:34:43,777 You mean, was I personally responsible? 650 00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:47,128 - Yeah. - No, but it was a team, you know-- 651 00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:51,350 Well, then, that's not really your achievement, is it? 652 00:34:51,393 --> 00:34:53,961 I mean, can you think of anything that you've done 653 00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:56,964 that other people didn't have a hand in? 654 00:34:57,007 --> 00:34:59,140 Yeah. Yeah. 655 00:34:59,184 --> 00:35:01,490 Does it have to be recent? 656 00:35:01,534 --> 00:35:04,798 Jesus, Daniel, it's not supposed to be a difficult question. 657 00:35:04,841 --> 00:35:06,887 The thing is, 658 00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:09,237 - I'm an account manager, so-- - So? 659 00:35:09,281 --> 00:35:12,240 So, the job I do is mostly administrative. 660 00:35:12,284 --> 00:35:14,112 - So? - So, it's like, 661 00:35:14,155 --> 00:35:16,418 what I do is help the ship run smoothly. 662 00:35:16,462 --> 00:35:18,942 it's not like I would have a ton of achievements, per se. 663 00:35:18,986 --> 00:35:22,642 I didn't ask you for a ton, Daniel, I asked you for one. 664 00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:26,602 Yeah. 665 00:35:26,646 --> 00:35:28,430 you know, I... 666 00:35:28,474 --> 00:35:30,563 I write the company newsletter. 667 00:35:30,606 --> 00:35:32,956 The company newsletter? 668 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,699 Yes, I-I write it. 669 00:35:36,743 --> 00:35:40,181 The company newsletter. 670 00:35:41,443 --> 00:35:43,532 - Yes. - Okay, uh, 671 00:35:43,576 --> 00:35:45,534 why don't we just, uh, move on. 672 00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:48,711 Tell me something interesting about yourself. 673 00:35:50,713 --> 00:35:53,238 Well, something interesting about me? 674 00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:54,935 Yeah. 675 00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:57,155 I play guitar. 676 00:35:58,460 --> 00:36:00,854 Acoustic or electric? 677 00:36:00,897 --> 00:36:03,117 Mostly acoustic. 678 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,772 That's not interesting, Daniel. 679 00:36:06,816 --> 00:36:08,557 Not interesting at all. 680 00:36:09,689 --> 00:36:11,125 Well... 681 00:36:14,389 --> 00:36:16,348 - Psst! - What? 682 00:36:16,391 --> 00:36:18,176 Have you thought about it? 683 00:36:18,219 --> 00:36:19,829 I thought I had until break. 684 00:36:19,873 --> 00:36:23,485 You do. I just thought I would check in, you know? 685 00:36:23,529 --> 00:36:26,227 Oh, well, um, I haven't really been thinking about it. 686 00:36:26,271 --> 00:36:28,969 Okay, great. No problem. 687 00:36:36,629 --> 00:36:38,021 Psst! 688 00:36:38,065 --> 00:36:40,023 - What? - I just wanted to let you know 689 00:36:40,067 --> 00:36:42,069 while you're thinking about it 690 00:36:42,112 --> 00:36:44,027 that I'm a really great guy. 691 00:36:44,071 --> 00:36:46,247 I always look both ways before I cross the street, 692 00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:49,032 and I don't kill bugs unless they look poisonous. 693 00:36:49,076 --> 00:36:51,426 I'll take it all into account. 694 00:36:51,470 --> 00:36:53,602 Great, thanks. 695 00:36:58,303 --> 00:37:00,522 - Psst! - What? 696 00:37:00,566 --> 00:37:02,176 Can I borrow a pencil? 697 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:04,831 Oh, yeah. Sure. 698 00:37:06,049 --> 00:37:08,095 - Here you go. - Thanks. 699 00:37:08,138 --> 00:37:09,923 Daniel, hey, you get my message? 700 00:37:09,966 --> 00:37:11,794 I know I said we could do lunch, 701 00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:13,970 but it's gonna have to be coffee instead. 702 00:37:14,014 --> 00:37:16,321 I've been getting butt-punked with meetings all morning. 703 00:37:16,364 --> 00:37:18,236 3:00 work for you? 704 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:20,194 Actually, no. That's why I called. 705 00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:22,327 It doesn't. I have my daughter's Career Day this afternoon. 706 00:37:22,370 --> 00:37:24,677 I know that. My wife is your assistant. 707 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,983 I'm pretty in the loop as far as your schedule is concerned. 708 00:37:27,027 --> 00:37:29,943 Right, but I don't know how long Career Day's gonna last, 709 00:37:29,986 --> 00:37:32,815 and I don't know if there's some type of thing afterward. 710 00:37:32,859 --> 00:37:34,948 - You mean like an after-party? - Yeah. 711 00:37:34,991 --> 00:37:38,604 Is Jay Z's kid in the class? 712 00:37:38,647 --> 00:37:41,215 Look, Bob, the truth is, I don't want to meet. 713 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,783 No "buts," goddamn it! You put your vagina in my wife's cock! 714 00:37:43,826 --> 00:37:46,699 Cock in my wife's vagina! You know what I mean. 715 00:37:46,742 --> 00:37:49,658 You fucked my wife. And now you owe me coffee. 716 00:37:49,702 --> 00:37:51,921 And I mean that in a figurative and literal sense, 717 00:37:51,965 --> 00:37:54,097 because I fully expect you to pay! 718 00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:56,752 - I'll see you at 3:00, Daniel. - Look, Bob, that's... 719 00:38:00,930 --> 00:38:03,672 All right, everybody, that's enough for today. 720 00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:07,850 Patricia! It's break. 721 00:38:07,894 --> 00:38:09,591 Have you decided? 722 00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:13,378 - Yes. - Really? 723 00:38:13,421 --> 00:38:15,205 No, I didn't mean "yes" like "yes," 724 00:38:15,249 --> 00:38:16,990 I meant, "Yes, I've come to a decision." 725 00:38:17,033 --> 00:38:18,905 Oh. 726 00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:20,689 Look, Darius, um, 727 00:38:20,733 --> 00:38:24,693 I'm sorry, but I don't want to go out with you. 728 00:38:24,737 --> 00:38:26,869 Is it because I'm new? 729 00:38:26,913 --> 00:38:29,394 No, no. It has nothing to do with that. 730 00:38:29,437 --> 00:38:31,744 But if you knew me better, 731 00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:33,398 maybe you would have said yes. 732 00:38:33,441 --> 00:38:35,051 I mean, it's true I don't know you, but-- 733 00:38:35,095 --> 00:38:38,533 - I see. - Uh, are you okay? 734 00:38:38,577 --> 00:38:40,448 Yeah. 735 00:38:40,492 --> 00:38:42,494 Are you sure? 736 00:38:42,537 --> 00:38:44,147 Yes. 737 00:38:44,191 --> 00:38:46,236 Oh. Oh, no. Please don't cry. 738 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,413 It's just... 739 00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:52,242 I've had a really hard day. 740 00:38:53,983 --> 00:38:55,811 Sorry. 741 00:38:58,553 --> 00:39:01,251 Yes, well, I've been trying all morning. Your line's been busy. 742 00:39:01,295 --> 00:39:04,298 Yes, and they told me to call you. 743 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:08,389 Look, just get here as soon as you can. 744 00:39:08,433 --> 00:39:10,565 Well, how long will that be? 745 00:39:12,132 --> 00:39:14,352 All right, fine. Thank you. 746 00:39:17,224 --> 00:39:19,008 So, what'd the coroner say? 747 00:39:19,052 --> 00:39:21,184 They said they'd be here ASAP. 748 00:39:21,228 --> 00:39:22,838 What does that mean? 749 00:39:22,882 --> 00:39:24,710 Well, hopefully within the hour. 750 00:39:24,753 --> 00:39:27,887 - No, what does "ASAP" mean? - A-S-A-P. 751 00:39:28,888 --> 00:39:30,890 Oh, my God. 752 00:39:30,933 --> 00:39:32,326 It means, 753 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:35,111 "as soon as possible." 754 00:39:35,155 --> 00:39:39,289 Okay. So, do they think they'll be here before Career Day starts? 755 00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:41,770 How the hell do I know, Ned? 756 00:39:42,641 --> 00:39:44,599 Okay, so I reached out 757 00:39:44,643 --> 00:39:46,514 to all the emergency contacts for all the Kevins, 758 00:39:46,558 --> 00:39:48,429 and they're insisting that their Kevin is still alive. 759 00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:51,345 Well, one of them is wrong. 760 00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:53,826 Yes, one is wrong, but which one? 761 00:39:53,869 --> 00:39:56,089 Look, until we can say for sure which one it is, 762 00:39:56,132 --> 00:39:57,656 I don't feel comfortable calling these people. 763 00:39:57,699 --> 00:39:59,701 Okay. I understand. 764 00:40:01,137 --> 00:40:03,096 Lounge is closed. 765 00:40:03,139 --> 00:40:06,229 - Is this a joke? - I said the lounge is closed. 766 00:40:06,273 --> 00:40:08,754 How come he gets to be in here? 767 00:40:08,797 --> 00:40:11,017 Gary, please? 768 00:40:11,060 --> 00:40:13,367 So the faculty gets cast out into the wilderness, 769 00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:16,457 but the fucking gardener gets to nosh on bear claws all day? 770 00:40:16,501 --> 00:40:17,937 This is bullshit. 771 00:40:17,980 --> 00:40:20,113 All right, all... 772 00:40:21,810 --> 00:40:24,465 how long before the parents start showing up? 773 00:40:24,509 --> 00:40:27,163 Not long, and we need to start preparing 774 00:40:27,207 --> 00:40:29,165 for situations like this. 775 00:40:29,209 --> 00:40:31,864 Somebody could stumble in here before the coroner gets here 776 00:40:31,907 --> 00:40:33,692 and destroys the body. 777 00:40:33,735 --> 00:40:35,607 Coroners don't destroy bodies, Ned. 778 00:40:35,650 --> 00:40:37,870 Mindy, please. 779 00:40:37,913 --> 00:40:41,264 Let's not lose the forest for the tree. 780 00:40:41,308 --> 00:40:43,832 Oh, my God. Well, I'll be damned. 781 00:40:43,876 --> 00:40:45,443 What? 782 00:40:45,486 --> 00:40:47,053 He's got a lottery ticket. 783 00:40:47,096 --> 00:40:49,098 So? 784 00:40:49,142 --> 00:40:51,144 So, it's a winner. 785 00:40:51,187 --> 00:40:52,493 I doubt it. 786 00:40:52,537 --> 00:40:53,712 How much? 787 00:40:53,755 --> 00:40:55,453 Uh, I have no idea. 788 00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:57,629 I can never figure these fucking things out. 789 00:40:57,672 --> 00:41:00,066 All right, let's see. "Match three, show a prize. 790 00:41:00,109 --> 00:41:03,156 Two diamonds doubles the prize. Treasure chest triples the prize." 791 00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:05,158 Huh? Okay, so he's... 792 00:41:05,201 --> 00:41:06,986 What is he? 793 00:41:07,029 --> 00:41:09,510 Hey, he won a free ticket. 794 00:41:09,554 --> 00:41:12,600 - That is not a win. - How is that not a win? 795 00:41:12,644 --> 00:41:15,473 It's just a ruse to get you to play this stupid game again. 796 00:41:15,516 --> 00:41:17,475 Well, I'm keeping it. 797 00:41:17,518 --> 00:41:19,825 Uh, you can't keep a dead man's lottery ticket. 798 00:41:19,868 --> 00:41:22,654 News flash, Mindy: You can't move a dead man either, 799 00:41:22,697 --> 00:41:25,831 but we did that, at what, 7:30 this morning, so I'm good. 800 00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:27,746 - Throw it out, Ned. - No way. 801 00:41:28,964 --> 00:41:30,749 Ned... 802 00:41:30,792 --> 00:41:33,403 I will buy you 10 tickets. Just throw that one out. 803 00:41:33,447 --> 00:41:36,885 Ten? I'm gonna hold you to that. Mindy, you're my witness. 804 00:41:36,929 --> 00:41:40,062 Okay, fine. I'm your witness. God. 805 00:41:46,373 --> 00:41:48,114 You got another coffee? 806 00:41:48,157 --> 00:41:50,464 I'm sorry I didn't get you one. 807 00:41:50,508 --> 00:41:52,945 She just brought it to me 'cause of my knee. 808 00:41:52,988 --> 00:41:55,904 - You're just gonna rub it in my face-- - Daniel Crawford? 809 00:41:55,948 --> 00:41:59,168 - Yes? - Mr. Schneedy wants to see you. 810 00:42:22,714 --> 00:42:24,629 You wanted to see me? 811 00:42:24,672 --> 00:42:27,588 Nadine just met with Brick in the conference room, 812 00:42:27,632 --> 00:42:29,764 and... 813 00:42:29,808 --> 00:42:32,158 she told her something very interesting. 814 00:42:32,201 --> 00:42:34,247 She did? 815 00:42:35,465 --> 00:42:37,337 Why don't you sit? 816 00:42:44,823 --> 00:42:47,521 I'm-- I'm sorry. 817 00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:49,523 You're sorry? 818 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,960 Yes, I'm sorry. 819 00:42:52,004 --> 00:42:55,877 I don't know what else to say. I'm embarrassed. 820 00:42:55,921 --> 00:42:58,532 Well, you should be. It's a goddamn place of business. 821 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,490 You can't behave like a child 822 00:43:00,534 --> 00:43:02,580 and not expect to face the consequences. 823 00:43:02,623 --> 00:43:04,538 I know. You're right. 824 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,758 Yeah, I know I'm right. I'm your boss. 825 00:43:06,801 --> 00:43:10,326 Well, for what it's worth, it ended this morning. 826 00:43:10,370 --> 00:43:13,982 Her husband found out, and... 827 00:43:14,026 --> 00:43:17,638 she pretty much hates me now, so... it's over. 828 00:43:17,682 --> 00:43:19,640 What the hell are you talking about? 829 00:43:20,859 --> 00:43:23,644 Wait, what exactly did Nadine say? 830 00:43:23,688 --> 00:43:25,428 Sweet holy Lord. 831 00:43:27,169 --> 00:43:29,302 You're having an affair with your assistant? 832 00:43:29,345 --> 00:43:31,957 I thought that's what she told Brick. 833 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,437 No, she said that you were the one who sabotaged the coffee machine. 834 00:43:34,481 --> 00:43:36,526 - What? - You're cramming Nadine? 835 00:43:36,570 --> 00:43:38,964 She said I sabotaged the coffee machine? 836 00:43:39,007 --> 00:43:41,357 - Do you have any idea how reckless that is? - What did she say? 837 00:43:41,401 --> 00:43:43,316 I told you what she said. She said that 838 00:43:43,359 --> 00:43:45,492 you were the one who sabotaged the coffee machine. 839 00:43:45,535 --> 00:43:47,842 - Two other assistants are backing-- - Two? Who? 840 00:43:47,886 --> 00:43:50,976 Daniel, they overheard you making plans last Friday. 841 00:43:51,019 --> 00:43:53,152 Plans? Are you fucking kidding me? 842 00:43:53,195 --> 00:43:55,763 How much planning do I have to do to slash an electric cord 843 00:43:55,807 --> 00:43:58,374 and write "Fuck Field Publishing" on a slip of paper? 844 00:43:58,418 --> 00:44:01,421 I don't know, Daniel. I don't know the inner workings of the criminal mind. 845 00:44:01,464 --> 00:44:04,685 You believe this bullshit? This is horseshit! 846 00:44:04,729 --> 00:44:07,209 - I don't see why she should lie. - I just told you she hates me. 847 00:44:07,253 --> 00:44:10,560 Yeah, well, we have two other assistants backing up their story. 848 00:44:10,604 --> 00:44:13,085 Or did you break off affairs with those too? 849 00:44:13,128 --> 00:44:15,261 They're her friends. You know how assistants are. 850 00:44:15,304 --> 00:44:16,915 Actually, I don't know how assistants are. 851 00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:18,960 You know why? 'Cause I don't fuck 'em. 852 00:44:19,004 --> 00:44:20,658 - I didn't-- - You're fired. 853 00:44:20,701 --> 00:44:21,963 What? 854 00:44:22,007 --> 00:44:23,486 You're fired. 855 00:44:23,530 --> 00:44:25,706 Pack up your shit, put it in a box, 856 00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:28,230 and then follow your wandering dick out of the building. 857 00:44:31,059 --> 00:44:32,582 Thanks. 858 00:44:36,586 --> 00:44:39,807 I did not sabotage the coffee machine. 859 00:44:44,769 --> 00:44:46,596 Escort. 860 00:44:52,341 --> 00:44:54,343 Can I help you? 'Cause I'm trying to get some work done. 861 00:44:54,387 --> 00:44:56,694 - You got me fired. - What? 862 00:44:56,737 --> 00:44:58,043 I lost my job, Nadine. 863 00:44:58,086 --> 00:45:00,480 - Daniel, they fired you? - Yes. 864 00:45:00,523 --> 00:45:03,178 I got fired, and now I have to go speak at Patricia's Career Day. 865 00:45:03,222 --> 00:45:05,137 Nadine, I'm out of cover sheets for the memos. 866 00:45:05,180 --> 00:45:07,530 Hang on just a second, Aaron. 867 00:45:07,574 --> 00:45:10,577 - I am so sorry. I didn't mean ever-- - Maybe you didn't hear me. 868 00:45:10,620 --> 00:45:12,710 - Excuse me one second. - Sorry. This is important. 869 00:45:12,753 --> 00:45:14,450 - Why would you actually-- - I'm out of cover sheets for memos. 870 00:45:14,494 --> 00:45:17,410 I'm having a conversation. Hang on just a minute. 871 00:45:17,453 --> 00:45:19,325 - Why would you tell him that I did that? - I am so sorry. 872 00:45:19,368 --> 00:45:21,849 - Aaron, please! - It's what you intended! 873 00:45:21,893 --> 00:45:24,373 - We're having a conversation! - Could you hold up for a second? 874 00:45:24,417 --> 00:45:26,593 - You intended this! - I need the cover sheets. 875 00:45:26,636 --> 00:45:28,856 - Aaron, please! Daniel, wait. - Just give me the cover sheets. 876 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:32,251 Right here. Right up here. 877 00:45:32,991 --> 00:45:35,210 - Here! - Thank you. 878 00:45:37,256 --> 00:45:39,475 It's pretty easy. 879 00:45:39,519 --> 00:45:42,043 - All you had to do is just reach in a drawer-- - Dude... 880 00:47:03,908 --> 00:47:05,605 Okay. 881 00:47:05,648 --> 00:47:07,563 Just hand me your keycard, and you're good to go. 882 00:47:10,175 --> 00:47:11,741 All right. 883 00:47:14,048 --> 00:47:16,746 - How are you? - What? 884 00:47:16,790 --> 00:47:20,098 How are you? I mean, you've had such a crazy day-- 885 00:47:20,141 --> 00:47:22,535 losing your job, your plot getting foiled. 886 00:47:22,578 --> 00:47:24,450 There wasn't a plot. 887 00:47:24,493 --> 00:47:27,018 You don't have to justify yourself to me, okay? 888 00:47:27,061 --> 00:47:29,411 This is not the judicial part of the office. 889 00:47:29,455 --> 00:47:32,414 This is Human Resources. 890 00:47:32,458 --> 00:47:35,461 I am a human being. You are a human being. 891 00:47:35,504 --> 00:47:38,768 We are humans, being together. 892 00:47:38,812 --> 00:47:40,770 I just want to know you're doing okay. 893 00:47:40,814 --> 00:47:44,731 - I'm not. I'm not okay. - Hmm. 894 00:47:44,774 --> 00:47:48,517 That's what I figured, given your recent infractions, 895 00:47:48,561 --> 00:47:50,519 but... 896 00:47:50,563 --> 00:47:52,739 I wanted to hear you say it. 897 00:47:52,782 --> 00:47:54,915 Thanks for all your good work. 898 00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:56,961 Oh, hey, well, you know, 899 00:47:57,004 --> 00:47:58,963 you train, you prepare, and when the shit hits the fan, 900 00:47:59,006 --> 00:48:02,227 you just hope that muscle memory kicks in. 901 00:48:02,270 --> 00:48:04,316 Well, it did, and I thank you. Now you should go. 902 00:48:04,359 --> 00:48:06,971 Oh, yeah. Um, okay. 903 00:48:07,014 --> 00:48:09,887 We need the conference room. Also, I got to head out early. 904 00:48:09,930 --> 00:48:11,889 Yes, sir. 905 00:48:15,675 --> 00:48:17,764 No one cares. 906 00:48:18,808 --> 00:48:20,767 No one cares at all. 907 00:48:22,203 --> 00:48:24,249 You all right there, pal? 908 00:48:24,292 --> 00:48:26,904 Looks like you're having a rough go. 909 00:48:28,644 --> 00:48:32,126 - Do you want to talk about it? - That's okay. 910 00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:34,912 You wouldn't understand. 911 00:48:34,955 --> 00:48:36,696 Maybe not, 912 00:48:36,739 --> 00:48:38,916 but it couldn't hurt to try, right? 913 00:48:38,959 --> 00:48:40,265 Come on. 914 00:48:43,442 --> 00:48:45,879 Maybe we should talk outside. 915 00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:47,402 Nonsense. 916 00:48:47,446 --> 00:48:50,057 A little bacteria here and there is good for you. 917 00:48:50,101 --> 00:48:52,059 Helps the immune system. 918 00:48:52,103 --> 00:48:53,931 Come on. 919 00:48:57,673 --> 00:48:59,893 So what's going on? 920 00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:02,069 Do you have someone to share your life with? 921 00:49:02,113 --> 00:49:04,376 You mean like, am I married? 922 00:49:04,419 --> 00:49:06,726 Yes. 923 00:49:06,769 --> 00:49:09,250 How long have you and your wife been together? 924 00:49:09,294 --> 00:49:11,949 Mm, seven years. 925 00:49:13,907 --> 00:49:17,606 Would you say you enjoy being with her? 926 00:49:19,304 --> 00:49:21,654 Yes, most of the time. 927 00:49:22,916 --> 00:49:25,658 Would you say she's your everything? 928 00:49:25,701 --> 00:49:27,138 What? 929 00:49:27,181 --> 00:49:29,270 Would you say she's your everything? 930 00:49:31,490 --> 00:49:34,145 Uh, if pressed, 931 00:49:34,188 --> 00:49:37,017 yes, I would say she's my everything. 932 00:49:37,061 --> 00:49:39,280 She's your everything. 933 00:49:39,324 --> 00:49:41,021 She's my everything. 934 00:49:41,065 --> 00:49:42,327 Your everything. 935 00:49:42,370 --> 00:49:44,459 - My everything. - Everything. 936 00:49:44,503 --> 00:49:48,333 Okay, we've established her importance. Let's move on. 937 00:49:49,464 --> 00:49:51,640 If a man loses everything, 938 00:49:51,684 --> 00:49:53,468 what does he have left? 939 00:49:53,512 --> 00:49:55,905 - Have you been talking to Mr. McCrow? - Who? 940 00:49:55,949 --> 00:49:59,735 Never mind. It's just... nothing. 941 00:49:59,779 --> 00:50:02,216 Um, nothing. 942 00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:06,264 If a man loses everything, he has nothing left. 943 00:50:07,091 --> 00:50:09,006 Thank you. 944 00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:12,400 You've been very helpful. 945 00:50:15,664 --> 00:50:17,449 You got it. 946 00:50:35,554 --> 00:50:37,860 I can't picture her face anymore. 947 00:50:37,904 --> 00:50:39,601 When I try, 948 00:50:39,645 --> 00:50:42,126 all I get is fuzzy features and hazy eyes. 949 00:50:42,169 --> 00:50:45,346 I lived with her for 15 years, 950 00:50:45,390 --> 00:50:49,002 and I can't remember what she looks like, and I know she looks like our daughter, 951 00:50:49,046 --> 00:50:50,960 but I can't remember. 952 00:50:51,004 --> 00:50:52,701 I can't... 953 00:50:52,745 --> 00:50:56,096 Have you tried dating or seeing someone else? 954 00:50:56,140 --> 00:50:58,620 No. No. 955 00:50:58,664 --> 00:51:01,536 Though I got involved with Nadine. 956 00:51:01,580 --> 00:51:02,972 Which... 957 00:51:03,016 --> 00:51:06,541 - That was stupid. - Nadine, Nadine, Nadine. 958 00:51:06,585 --> 00:51:08,891 It got me fired, and now I have a meeting with Bob. 959 00:51:08,935 --> 00:51:11,111 Who's Bob? 960 00:51:11,155 --> 00:51:12,895 Nadine's husband. 961 00:51:12,939 --> 00:51:15,898 Why are you meeting with her husband? 962 00:51:15,942 --> 00:51:18,249 He wants to get coffee at 3:00. 963 00:51:18,292 --> 00:51:20,425 Scratch that, 3:30. 964 00:51:20,468 --> 00:51:23,384 And I have to go to my daughter's Career Day. 965 00:51:23,428 --> 00:51:26,822 I have to speak at my daughter's Career Day. What am I gonna say? 966 00:51:26,866 --> 00:51:30,130 I would not mention the coffeemaker 967 00:51:30,174 --> 00:51:32,524 or getting fired 968 00:51:32,567 --> 00:51:34,003 or Nadine. 969 00:51:35,396 --> 00:51:37,529 Well, Daniel, I'd love to talk all day, 970 00:51:37,572 --> 00:51:40,271 but I do still work here, so... 971 00:51:40,314 --> 00:51:43,317 This does mark the end of your tenure here at Field Publishing, 972 00:51:43,361 --> 00:51:46,973 but I just want you to know that I am available to you. 973 00:51:47,016 --> 00:51:49,062 Okay? If you're ever in distress, 974 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,673 need support, or just a friendly voice, 975 00:51:51,717 --> 00:51:54,111 I'm just a phone call away, okay? 976 00:51:54,154 --> 00:51:57,766 I may not be a registered therapist, but I am a registered friend. 977 00:51:58,941 --> 00:52:01,205 Thank you. 978 00:52:01,248 --> 00:52:03,772 All right, good luck out there, okay? 979 00:52:03,816 --> 00:52:05,470 - Yeah. - Gonna need it. 980 00:52:05,513 --> 00:52:08,429 Oh, hey, Daniel? I should mention to you 981 00:52:08,473 --> 00:52:11,258 that Mr. Schneedy requested that we cite 982 00:52:11,302 --> 00:52:13,608 improper conduct as the reason for your termination, 983 00:52:13,652 --> 00:52:16,524 so you won't get unemployment in this state. 984 00:52:16,568 --> 00:52:19,266 - Serious? - I know. 985 00:52:19,310 --> 00:52:21,442 It's like, my hands are so tied, you know, 986 00:52:21,486 --> 00:52:23,314 but I think part of being human-- 987 00:52:23,357 --> 00:52:25,142 You're an asshole. 988 00:52:26,534 --> 00:52:28,057 Beth! 989 00:52:30,712 --> 00:52:33,062 See him out! 990 00:52:33,106 --> 00:52:35,239 Uh, let's see. Where did we leave off last time? 991 00:52:35,282 --> 00:52:38,024 We were talking about the mayor. 992 00:52:38,067 --> 00:52:40,592 Does anybody remember where we left-- Patricia? 993 00:52:40,635 --> 00:52:42,768 Um, Darius is gone. 994 00:52:42,811 --> 00:52:45,074 - What? - Darius, the new kid? 995 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:47,860 Oh. No, he was here. 996 00:52:47,903 --> 00:52:49,644 Um, but he's not now. 997 00:52:49,688 --> 00:52:51,907 Well, you know what? He probably got lost. 998 00:52:51,951 --> 00:52:53,953 If he's not back in five minutes, I'll go look for him. 999 00:52:53,996 --> 00:52:55,476 Okay. 1000 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,478 We were on 108. Page 108. 1001 00:52:59,785 --> 00:53:03,528 ♪ So I fell asleep softly At the edge of a cave ♪ 1002 00:53:03,571 --> 00:53:07,662 ♪ But I should have gone deeper But I'm not so brave ♪ 1003 00:53:07,706 --> 00:53:11,318 ♪ And like that I was torn out And thrown in the sky ♪ 1004 00:53:11,362 --> 00:53:14,756 ♪ And I said all my prayers Because surely I'll die ♪ 1005 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:18,325 ♪ As I crashed down and smashed Into earth, into dirt ♪ 1006 00:53:18,369 --> 00:53:22,242 ♪ How my skin did explode Leaving only my shirt ♪ 1007 00:53:22,286 --> 00:53:26,246 ♪ But from shirt grew a tree And then tree grew a fruit ♪ 1008 00:53:26,290 --> 00:53:29,945 ♪ And I became the seed And that seed was a brute ♪ 1009 00:53:29,989 --> 00:53:33,253 ♪ I clawed through the ground With my roots and my leaves ♪ 1010 00:53:33,297 --> 00:53:34,950 Grab a crate. Take a seat. 1011 00:53:34,994 --> 00:53:36,865 ♪ And I ate up the sleeves 1012 00:53:36,909 --> 00:53:38,737 ♪ And they laughed out at me 1013 00:53:38,780 --> 00:53:40,869 ♪ And said "What is your plan?" ♪ 1014 00:53:40,913 --> 00:53:44,046 ♪ Their question was foreign I did not understand ♪ 1015 00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:47,963 ♪ And then suddenly I'm ripped up and Placed in a mouth ♪ 1016 00:53:48,007 --> 00:53:52,141 ♪ And it swallowed me down At which time I head south ♪ 1017 00:53:53,752 --> 00:53:55,971 I'm gonna take the LSAT this weekend. 1018 00:53:56,015 --> 00:53:58,844 I took the LSAT. 1019 00:54:00,846 --> 00:54:02,543 Mindy. Phone, please? 1020 00:54:02,587 --> 00:54:04,241 Yeah, I'm getting it. 1021 00:54:04,284 --> 00:54:06,982 Cathaway Central. 1022 00:54:07,026 --> 00:54:09,115 Is this the person who's been calling my family, telling them I'm dead? 1023 00:54:09,158 --> 00:54:11,073 Who the fuck do you think you-- 1024 00:54:12,031 --> 00:54:14,207 - Who was that? - Kevin. 1025 00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:16,209 And the parents are here. 1026 00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:18,211 - Fuck! - Okay, should I call the coroner again? 1027 00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:20,082 No, don't do that! 1028 00:54:20,126 --> 00:54:22,346 No, no, no, no, no. They're already too late. 1029 00:54:22,389 --> 00:54:24,652 If anything, we should call them and tell them not to come, 1030 00:54:24,696 --> 00:54:27,438 so we won't have to carry a dead body out in the middle of Career Day. 1031 00:54:27,481 --> 00:54:30,267 All right. You should probably get ready. 1032 00:54:30,310 --> 00:54:32,530 Maybe get on your work clothes or something. 1033 00:54:34,619 --> 00:54:36,708 Thank you, Ned. 1034 00:54:36,751 --> 00:54:39,711 ♪ And I dreamt about climbing Into the night sky ♪ 1035 00:54:39,754 --> 00:54:43,236 ♪ But I knew had I touched them They'd mouth back "bye-bye" ♪ 1036 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,979 ♪ So I got up and walked down The path in the dark ♪ 1037 00:54:47,022 --> 00:54:49,068 ♪ And there deep In the distance ♪ 1038 00:54:49,111 --> 00:54:50,809 Come on, hurry up. 1039 00:54:50,852 --> 00:54:52,811 ♪ Of a crab twice my size 1040 00:54:52,854 --> 00:54:55,335 ♪ With incredible strength 1041 00:54:55,379 --> 00:54:58,077 - You look worried. - I'm fine. 1042 00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,123 ♪ And we drooled out together Right onto the ground ♪ 1043 00:55:01,167 --> 00:55:03,604 I know you all have busy schedules, and we appreciate 1044 00:55:03,648 --> 00:55:06,303 your taking the time to come today and speak. 1045 00:55:09,088 --> 00:55:11,090 All right, the format is pretty simple. 1046 00:55:11,133 --> 00:55:14,093 - Do you have dreams? - Dreams? 1047 00:55:14,136 --> 00:55:15,834 Yeah, like goals, 1048 00:55:15,877 --> 00:55:17,879 ambitions, stuff like that. 1049 00:55:17,923 --> 00:55:20,795 I don't know. I guess. 1050 00:55:20,839 --> 00:55:22,797 Over the weekend, I had a realization. 1051 00:55:22,841 --> 00:55:25,409 We all have these grand aspirations 1052 00:55:25,452 --> 00:55:28,063 and these dreams 1053 00:55:28,107 --> 00:55:30,718 that we're never gonna live up to. 1054 00:55:45,124 --> 00:55:47,953 We're just gonna go alphabetically. 1055 00:55:50,869 --> 00:55:53,001 - What the fuck? - Oh, God. 1056 00:55:53,045 --> 00:55:55,352 What the hell are you doing here? 1057 00:55:55,395 --> 00:55:59,268 My kid's in this class. What are you doing here? 1058 00:55:59,312 --> 00:56:02,620 I just-- I just love Career Days. 1059 00:56:02,663 --> 00:56:05,144 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Uh... 1060 00:56:05,187 --> 00:56:08,756 - Is this Miss Arin's 6th-grade class? - Yes, you're in the right place. 1061 00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:12,586 - Great. - I just want you guys to pay attention today and really be-- 1062 00:56:12,630 --> 00:56:15,110 What's your dream? 1063 00:56:15,154 --> 00:56:17,765 I wanted to be a musician. 1064 00:56:17,809 --> 00:56:19,985 Were you any good? 1065 00:56:20,812 --> 00:56:23,118 Yeah, I was good. 1066 00:56:23,162 --> 00:56:24,555 I was pretty good. 1067 00:56:24,598 --> 00:56:26,295 You know, I think I was good. 1068 00:56:26,339 --> 00:56:28,036 But it doesn't matter. 1069 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:32,084 I'm gonna die having never done anything, ever. 1070 00:56:32,127 --> 00:56:35,566 - The thing about hospice is... - This is awkward. 1071 00:56:35,609 --> 00:56:37,916 Yeah. 1072 00:56:37,959 --> 00:56:41,006 You know, if I had any idea you were gonna be here today, 1073 00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:43,965 I would've waited to fire you till tomorrow. 1074 00:56:44,009 --> 00:56:47,491 - Wow. You got a big heart. - Oh, don't patronize me. 1075 00:56:47,534 --> 00:56:49,580 - Don't talk to me. - Shut up. 1076 00:56:49,623 --> 00:56:52,626 Well, my dad's name is Daniel Crawford, 1077 00:56:52,670 --> 00:56:54,933 and he works for a magazine publishing firm 1078 00:56:54,976 --> 00:56:56,804 called Field Publishing. 1079 00:56:56,848 --> 00:57:00,155 Oh, yeah. This'll be good. 1080 00:57:18,913 --> 00:57:21,307 Um, would you like a minute, Mr. Crawford? 1081 00:57:21,350 --> 00:57:23,265 - Hmm? - Would you like a minute? 1082 00:57:23,309 --> 00:57:26,443 No, no. I'm fine, I'm fine. 1083 00:57:26,486 --> 00:57:28,836 Well, first of all, 1084 00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:30,925 I don't work for Field Publishing anymore. 1085 00:57:30,969 --> 00:57:33,145 I got fired today. 1086 00:57:33,188 --> 00:57:35,539 So technically I'm unemployed. 1087 00:57:35,582 --> 00:57:38,759 I don't have a career. But, um, 1088 00:57:38,803 --> 00:57:41,501 I was an accounts manager, and actually, 1089 00:57:41,545 --> 00:57:44,243 if any of you parents know anyone that's hiring 1090 00:57:44,286 --> 00:57:47,855 or maybe hiring yourselves, I would love to talk to you after class. 1091 00:57:50,815 --> 00:57:54,645 Well, I guess I can take questions now. 1092 00:58:00,128 --> 00:58:02,566 - Yes? - Why did you get fired? 1093 00:58:02,609 --> 00:58:06,526 I was accused of breaking the department coffee machine. 1094 00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:08,006 Yeah. 1095 00:58:08,049 --> 00:58:10,965 - Did you do it? - No. 1096 00:58:13,794 --> 00:58:16,275 - Yeah? - What are you gonna do now? 1097 00:58:16,318 --> 00:58:18,103 I don't know. 1098 00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:20,366 My dad says you should only do what you love. 1099 00:58:20,409 --> 00:58:22,586 - What does your dad do? - He's an accountant. 1100 00:58:22,629 --> 00:58:25,371 And a liar. An accountant and a liar. 1101 00:58:25,414 --> 00:58:27,373 Any more questions? 1102 00:58:27,416 --> 00:58:29,549 Uh, no, no. I think that's enough for today. 1103 00:58:29,593 --> 00:58:32,639 - Thank you, Mr. Crawford. - Oh, but there's one last thing, one last thing. 1104 00:58:32,683 --> 00:58:35,686 The guy who fired me 1105 00:58:35,729 --> 00:58:38,210 is standing right there! 1106 00:58:41,474 --> 00:58:43,563 Oh, God. 1107 00:58:43,607 --> 00:58:45,478 - Wow, really? - Mm-hmm. 1108 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,394 Yeah, you wanna? Okay. How you doing? 1109 00:58:48,437 --> 00:58:50,570 - Who's next? - I'm next. I'm next. 1110 00:58:50,614 --> 00:58:52,659 - We're going alphabetically. - Well, that's okay. 1111 00:58:52,703 --> 00:58:54,269 I don't think we need to go alphabetically. 1112 00:58:54,313 --> 00:58:58,143 - I think I'll go next. - That would be great. 1113 00:58:58,186 --> 00:59:00,449 - Great. Yeah, let him go next. - You okay with that? 1114 00:59:00,493 --> 00:59:02,321 Yeah. 1115 00:59:02,364 --> 00:59:04,845 - Let's see what you got. - Okay, Darius, 1116 00:59:04,889 --> 00:59:07,413 why don't you introduce me? 1117 00:59:07,456 --> 00:59:09,589 Where is he? Is he on a bathroom break or something? 1118 00:59:09,633 --> 00:59:11,939 Hey, man, I'm spilling my guts over here. 1119 00:59:11,983 --> 00:59:15,682 What, uh, brings you up to the roof? 1120 00:59:17,292 --> 00:59:18,729 Nothing. 1121 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:23,255 A man does not go on a roof 1122 00:59:23,298 --> 00:59:25,910 in the middle of the day for no reason. 1123 00:59:25,953 --> 00:59:29,914 Even if he is a very small man. 1124 00:59:29,957 --> 00:59:32,046 So what's up? 1125 00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:38,096 I guess I'm just lonely. 1126 00:59:41,142 --> 00:59:42,448 Yeah. 1127 00:59:43,971 --> 00:59:46,974 I'll introduce myself. My name is Arthur Schneedy. 1128 00:59:47,018 --> 00:59:49,847 I am Darius's father. 1129 00:59:49,890 --> 00:59:54,068 I am senior operating officer at Field Publishing. 1130 00:59:54,112 --> 00:59:56,331 My job involves a lot of travel. 1131 00:59:56,375 --> 00:59:59,770 I'm constantly put in situations where I'm forced to 1132 00:59:59,813 --> 01:00:02,120 take control of offices 1133 01:00:02,163 --> 01:00:05,427 filled with employees who don't know me and resent me 1134 01:00:05,471 --> 01:00:08,256 because of my superior status. 1135 01:00:08,300 --> 01:00:10,998 But I do my job. 1136 01:00:11,042 --> 01:00:13,914 The moment a problem arises, I nip it in the bud. 1137 01:00:13,958 --> 01:00:16,177 Just this morning, I... 1138 01:00:16,221 --> 01:00:18,049 I was given the opportunity 1139 01:00:18,092 --> 01:00:20,878 to show some new employees how I do business. 1140 01:00:20,921 --> 01:00:24,011 I invited Daniel into my office to discuss 1141 01:00:24,055 --> 01:00:25,709 a vandalized coffee machine, 1142 01:00:25,752 --> 01:00:28,537 and he took that opportunity to let it slip 1143 01:00:28,581 --> 01:00:31,453 that he had been carrying on a-- how do I put it?-- 1144 01:00:31,497 --> 01:00:35,936 a series of brisk workouts in Cupid's gymnasium 1145 01:00:35,980 --> 01:00:38,156 - with his female office assistant. - This is getting inappropriate! 1146 01:00:38,199 --> 01:00:40,332 I'm sorry, but I got to finish. 1147 01:00:40,375 --> 01:00:42,682 - Okay, This is getting inappropriate. - Hang on one second. 1148 01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:45,685 - Keep it about the career. - Uh, yeah. This is exactly 1149 01:00:45,729 --> 01:00:47,687 - what I was dealing with at work today. - They're 6th graders. 1150 01:00:47,731 --> 01:00:49,254 I appreciate that. 1151 01:00:49,297 --> 01:00:53,388 It turned out that Daniel and his vagabond sausage, 1152 01:00:53,432 --> 01:00:56,478 they were violating office policy. 1153 01:00:56,522 --> 01:00:59,699 They broke-- everyone in the office 1154 01:00:59,743 --> 01:01:02,310 knows that he broke rules-- 1155 01:01:02,354 --> 01:01:05,183 Everyone in that office knows that you are a piece of-- 1156 01:01:05,226 --> 01:01:08,577 Tread lightly, Daniel. Tread lightly. 1157 01:01:08,621 --> 01:01:11,319 The last person who called me that, they got kicked real hard. 1158 01:01:11,363 --> 01:01:12,756 - Okay, boys, that's enough! - Real hard. 1159 01:01:12,799 --> 01:01:14,279 - You... - Don't do it. 1160 01:01:14,322 --> 01:01:15,976 - Are a piece... - Daniel! 1161 01:01:16,020 --> 01:01:19,632 - You cannot un-ring that bell. - of shit! 1162 01:01:25,290 --> 01:01:28,380 - We're going outside! - Let's go outside. 1163 01:01:28,423 --> 01:01:30,208 Outside! 1164 01:01:44,962 --> 01:01:46,572 - Yeah? - Yeah, we're gonna do this. 1165 01:01:46,615 --> 01:01:49,444 - Oh, it's time to go! - Yeah, uh-huh! 1166 01:01:49,488 --> 01:01:51,969 I need to ask you something, because... 1167 01:01:52,012 --> 01:01:55,015 it would be irresponsible not to, but... 1168 01:01:55,059 --> 01:01:57,148 you didn't come up here to jump, did you? 1169 01:01:57,191 --> 01:01:58,758 'Cause if you did, 1170 01:01:58,802 --> 01:02:00,978 I can't let you go through with it. 1171 01:02:01,021 --> 01:02:03,981 No. I just came up here to get away. 1172 01:02:04,024 --> 01:02:05,765 Did you? 1173 01:02:07,419 --> 01:02:09,987 I'm gonna make you my assistant. 1174 01:02:10,030 --> 01:02:12,163 Make you my little assistant. 1175 01:02:12,206 --> 01:02:15,470 - Here's what I'm gonna do to you. - I was tracking my steps. 1176 01:02:15,514 --> 01:02:17,168 All right. I'm ready. 1177 01:02:17,211 --> 01:02:18,778 You're going down! 1178 01:02:18,822 --> 01:02:20,649 Come to Daddy. Come to Daddy. 1179 01:02:20,693 --> 01:02:22,869 - Come on. - Come on, bro. 1180 01:02:24,218 --> 01:02:26,090 You wanna come? 1181 01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:28,179 You think I don't study this madness? 1182 01:02:37,318 --> 01:02:38,798 What is going on? 1183 01:02:38,842 --> 01:02:41,453 - The roof! - Oh, Jesus! 1184 01:02:41,496 --> 01:02:44,064 Uh, uh, call 911! 1185 01:02:48,634 --> 01:02:50,592 What's going on down there? 1186 01:02:50,636 --> 01:02:51,985 Looks like a fight. 1187 01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:55,510 Looks more like they're dancing. 1188 01:02:58,949 --> 01:03:02,126 - Jesus. - Who's that? 1189 01:03:02,169 --> 01:03:04,563 It's my mom. She's worried about me. 1190 01:03:04,606 --> 01:03:06,478 You know how moms can be, right? 1191 01:03:06,521 --> 01:03:08,523 My mom's dead. 1192 01:03:11,004 --> 01:03:13,006 So maybe you don't. 1193 01:03:14,965 --> 01:03:17,010 Come on, Grandpa! 1194 01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:23,712 - When did she die? - A few years ago. 1195 01:03:23,756 --> 01:03:25,323 You miss her, huh? 1196 01:03:25,366 --> 01:03:27,847 When she was around, the moving was easier. 1197 01:03:27,891 --> 01:03:30,328 I could handle everything. 1198 01:03:30,371 --> 01:03:33,070 You're lucky you still have your mom. 1199 01:03:34,071 --> 01:03:35,463 Yeah. 1200 01:03:36,856 --> 01:03:38,336 Yeah, I guess I am. 1201 01:03:47,171 --> 01:03:49,260 You've gotta be kidding me. 1202 01:03:49,303 --> 01:03:51,479 You wanna make it real? You wanna make it real? 1203 01:03:51,523 --> 01:03:54,265 - Yeah! - Make it real! 1204 01:03:54,308 --> 01:03:56,310 - Real! - Real! 1205 01:03:57,703 --> 01:04:00,140 - Give me one sec. - Yeah, yeah. 1206 01:04:00,184 --> 01:04:02,664 I think that's my dad. 1207 01:04:05,015 --> 01:04:07,060 Who, the guy in the tank top? 1208 01:04:07,104 --> 01:04:08,932 Yeah. 1209 01:04:08,975 --> 01:04:11,021 I hate him. 1210 01:04:11,064 --> 01:04:14,633 Why? 'Cause he beats people up at your school? 1211 01:04:14,676 --> 01:04:18,245 Because he's always making me move. I'm always the new kid. 1212 01:04:18,289 --> 01:04:20,639 No one likes the new kid. 1213 01:04:20,682 --> 01:04:22,771 They all pick on him, shove his head in toilets, call him names. 1214 01:04:22,815 --> 01:04:25,774 - Being a kid sucks. - Yes. 1215 01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,213 Yes, it does. 1216 01:04:31,041 --> 01:04:33,739 Lady, we're not gonna pick up the dead guy. 1217 01:04:33,782 --> 01:04:36,655 No, the dead guy is not the problem. 1218 01:04:36,698 --> 01:04:38,831 That is the problem. 1219 01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,572 - Suicide case? - I don't blame him. 1220 01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:43,401 - Two. Two suicide cases. - Well, we don't do suicides. 1221 01:04:43,444 --> 01:04:46,491 - What? - We don't do suicides. 1222 01:04:46,534 --> 01:04:49,929 That is police domain. Just call the cops. 1223 01:04:49,973 --> 01:04:52,801 We called 911. Why do you keep showing up? 1224 01:04:52,845 --> 01:04:55,152 Why do you keep requesting us? 1225 01:04:55,195 --> 01:04:56,936 911 is not a deejay. 1226 01:04:56,980 --> 01:04:59,417 You don't make requests. 1227 01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:02,289 Well, clearly someone's never worked in emergency services. 1228 01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:08,078 Is this interesting? 1229 01:05:08,121 --> 01:05:10,167 Is this interesting at all? 1230 01:05:11,472 --> 01:05:13,822 That's my boy up there. 1231 01:05:13,866 --> 01:05:15,389 Darius? 1232 01:05:15,433 --> 01:05:16,913 What's he saying? 1233 01:05:16,956 --> 01:05:18,566 I think he's shouting my name. 1234 01:05:18,610 --> 01:05:20,525 Your name's Darius? 1235 01:05:20,568 --> 01:05:23,571 - What are you doing up there? - Like Darius the Great? 1236 01:05:23,615 --> 01:05:25,225 That's what I always tell people, 1237 01:05:25,269 --> 01:05:27,706 but my parents just found it in a name book. 1238 01:05:27,749 --> 01:05:29,969 Darius, sweetheart, what are you doing up there? 1239 01:05:30,013 --> 01:05:32,232 I should probably go down there. 1240 01:05:32,276 --> 01:05:34,321 - Yeah, you probably should. - Darius, be careful! 1241 01:05:34,365 --> 01:05:37,237 Hey, um, I know you had a rough day, 1242 01:05:37,281 --> 01:05:41,198 and you don't think anybody cares about you, 1243 01:05:41,241 --> 01:05:43,504 but I enjoyed talking with you, and, 1244 01:05:43,548 --> 01:05:46,203 for whatever it's worth, I care. 1245 01:05:47,291 --> 01:05:49,249 Thanks... What's your name? 1246 01:05:51,251 --> 01:05:55,560 Uh, well, you're supposed to call me Mr. McCrow, but... 1247 01:05:55,603 --> 01:05:57,997 but just call me Christian, all right? 1248 01:05:58,041 --> 01:05:59,694 Thanks, Christian. 1249 01:05:59,738 --> 01:06:01,740 And if you want my opinion, 1250 01:06:01,783 --> 01:06:04,003 I don't think you're a failure. 1251 01:06:08,921 --> 01:06:11,141 Hey, Darius. 1252 01:06:11,184 --> 01:06:13,012 Yeah? 1253 01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:15,493 I think I'm gonna come with you. 1254 01:06:17,669 --> 01:06:21,238 He's leaving! He's not gonna jump! 1255 01:06:54,532 --> 01:06:56,186 Christian! 1256 01:07:13,072 --> 01:07:15,379 That was pretty scary. 1257 01:07:23,691 --> 01:07:25,606 I won. 1258 01:07:25,650 --> 01:07:28,000 ♪ Do you know when You were already gone ♪ 1259 01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:30,263 Don't move. The paramedics are coming. 1260 01:07:30,307 --> 01:07:34,572 - They're on their way. - It's a miracle! 1261 01:07:34,615 --> 01:07:37,314 That has to be, like, 30 feet! 1262 01:07:37,357 --> 01:07:39,055 Sir? 1263 01:07:39,098 --> 01:07:40,926 Sir, can you hear me? 1264 01:07:40,969 --> 01:07:42,884 Can you tell me your name, please? 1265 01:07:42,928 --> 01:07:45,278 It's Christian. 1266 01:07:45,322 --> 01:07:47,063 - Any dilation? - Yep. 1267 01:07:47,106 --> 01:07:49,456 Pulse? Okay. 1268 01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:51,937 Sir, I'm gonna put some oxygen on. Just breathe normally, please. 1269 01:07:51,980 --> 01:07:54,505 - All right, on my count-- - Christian! 1270 01:07:55,593 --> 01:07:57,160 Hey. 1271 01:07:57,203 --> 01:08:00,206 Good move leaving the roof. 1272 01:08:00,250 --> 01:08:02,556 Are you gonna be okay? 1273 01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:06,778 You should tell your dad what you told me. 1274 01:08:16,266 --> 01:08:18,833 What the hell were you doing up there? 1275 01:08:18,877 --> 01:08:21,009 I don't know. 1276 01:08:21,053 --> 01:08:23,751 What were you doing up on the roof? 1277 01:08:23,795 --> 01:08:27,668 I don't want to move anymore. I just don't want to move. 1278 01:08:29,017 --> 01:08:30,845 I love you, buddy. 1279 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,202 Patricia... 1280 01:08:39,245 --> 01:08:40,768 How could you do that? 1281 01:08:40,812 --> 01:08:42,944 How could you just come in here and... 1282 01:08:42,988 --> 01:08:46,513 Dad, do you know how hard 1283 01:08:46,557 --> 01:08:49,342 I've been trying to keep the two of us together? 1284 01:08:49,386 --> 01:08:52,215 - To keep us-- - Yes, I do. 1285 01:08:52,258 --> 01:08:54,260 And I behaved like a real jerk. 1286 01:08:54,304 --> 01:08:57,045 And I'd be upset too if my dad 1287 01:08:57,089 --> 01:08:58,917 showed up at school and got into a fight. 1288 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,701 It's not that. 1289 01:09:00,745 --> 01:09:03,269 You and I are supposed to be a team. 1290 01:09:03,313 --> 01:09:05,576 Especially now that Mom's gone. 1291 01:09:05,619 --> 01:09:07,317 You should've told me first. 1292 01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:10,885 I deserved to know before the rest of my class. 1293 01:09:10,929 --> 01:09:13,192 - You're right. - And if you would've told me first, 1294 01:09:13,236 --> 01:09:15,716 I would've been able to say 1295 01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,937 that we would be okay, and that you would get another job, 1296 01:09:18,980 --> 01:09:21,809 and we'll make it through. 1297 01:09:21,853 --> 01:09:23,942 That's not your job. 1298 01:09:23,985 --> 01:09:25,987 It's not your job, okay? 1299 01:09:29,426 --> 01:09:31,776 I love you. 1300 01:09:31,819 --> 01:09:35,171 I'm sure glad you take after Mom. 1301 01:09:35,214 --> 01:09:36,868 Yeah, me too. 1302 01:09:43,266 --> 01:09:45,529 Darius. 1303 01:09:45,572 --> 01:09:48,401 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I am. 1304 01:09:48,445 --> 01:09:51,535 Dad, this is my new friend, Darius. 1305 01:09:51,578 --> 01:09:54,538 - Nice to meet you, Darius. - Nice to meet you, sir. 1306 01:09:54,581 --> 01:09:56,409 Actually, 1307 01:09:56,453 --> 01:09:58,890 Darius and I have a lot in common. 1308 01:10:00,021 --> 01:10:01,762 His mom died too. 1309 01:10:03,329 --> 01:10:05,113 I'm very sorry to hear that. 1310 01:10:07,768 --> 01:10:09,857 See you at school tomorrow? 1311 01:10:09,901 --> 01:10:11,511 Take it easy. 1312 01:10:11,555 --> 01:10:13,948 Yeah, you too. 1313 01:10:13,992 --> 01:10:16,951 ♪ Shoved in the kitchen Of a city tomb ♪ 1314 01:10:16,995 --> 01:10:19,606 ♪ The light would flicker Like a violent womb ♪ 1315 01:10:19,650 --> 01:10:22,566 ♪ The night was thicker Than a smoky fume ♪ 1316 01:10:22,609 --> 01:10:25,612 ♪ And I just wanna Take you home ♪ 1317 01:10:25,656 --> 01:10:28,963 ♪ Love is a gentle thing 1318 01:10:29,007 --> 01:10:32,228 - ♪ Yours is thicker Than a velvet ring ♪ - I'll be right back. 1319 01:10:32,271 --> 01:10:36,275 ♪ Yours is thicker Than a velvet ring ♪ 1320 01:10:38,538 --> 01:10:41,846 Hey. Thought that was you. 1321 01:10:41,889 --> 01:10:43,282 Daniel. 1322 01:10:43,326 --> 01:10:45,589 Bob? 1323 01:10:45,632 --> 01:10:48,505 So sorry I had to keep rescheduling today. 1324 01:10:48,548 --> 01:10:50,333 I got, uh, fucking cock-rammed 1325 01:10:50,376 --> 01:10:52,117 with a whole series of meetings this afternoon. 1326 01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:54,598 - You want to order something? - No, I'm good. 1327 01:10:54,641 --> 01:10:58,297 You sure? Coffee, tea, anything like that? This place is great. 1328 01:10:58,341 --> 01:11:01,344 No, my daughter's in the car waiting, so I kind of want to make this quick. 1329 01:11:04,912 --> 01:11:07,045 - Smart. - What's smart? 1330 01:11:07,088 --> 01:11:09,439 Bringing your daughter along so I don't beat the shit out of you. 1331 01:11:09,482 --> 01:11:12,485 - That's not why she's here-- - It's fine. 1332 01:11:12,529 --> 01:11:15,271 Come on. Follow me. 1333 01:11:21,973 --> 01:11:23,583 Watch your head. 1334 01:11:26,978 --> 01:11:28,936 The bathroom? 1335 01:11:28,980 --> 01:11:30,590 The bathroom. 1336 01:11:43,429 --> 01:11:44,822 All right. 1337 01:11:44,865 --> 01:11:47,128 Pull out your cock. 1338 01:11:47,172 --> 01:11:48,695 What? 1339 01:11:48,739 --> 01:11:50,741 I told you, Daniel, I need to compare. 1340 01:11:50,784 --> 01:11:54,048 Healthy or not, I need to compare. It's human nature. 1341 01:11:54,092 --> 01:11:56,660 I need to compare our height, our weight, our hair color, 1342 01:11:56,703 --> 01:11:59,967 the way we pronounce certain multisyllabic words. 1343 01:12:00,011 --> 01:12:03,188 By the way, could you say, "antidisestablishmentarianism?" 1344 01:12:03,231 --> 01:12:06,060 Antidisestablishmentarianism. 1345 01:12:06,104 --> 01:12:08,933 Hmm. Interesting. 1346 01:12:08,976 --> 01:12:11,370 Anyway, I need to compare. 1347 01:12:11,414 --> 01:12:14,591 And of all the things I need to compare, the cock is the most important. 1348 01:12:14,634 --> 01:12:17,028 It's the part of you that committed the act. 1349 01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:18,682 Look, I don't feel comfortable 1350 01:12:18,725 --> 01:12:20,771 pulling out my cock in front of you. 1351 01:12:20,814 --> 01:12:24,470 And I'm not comfortable knowing you put your cock in my wife! 1352 01:12:24,514 --> 01:12:27,778 But I have to deal with it. Now, pull it out! 1353 01:12:44,229 --> 01:12:46,362 What are you doing? 1354 01:12:46,405 --> 01:12:48,581 You know what, Bob? 1355 01:12:48,625 --> 01:12:51,018 I've had a hell of a day today. 1356 01:12:51,062 --> 01:12:53,194 A hell of a day. 1357 01:12:53,238 --> 01:12:56,154 And I'm sorry what happened with Nadine. I really am. 1358 01:12:56,197 --> 01:12:58,548 But life's too short to waste time comparing cocks 1359 01:12:58,591 --> 01:13:01,028 with strangers in coffee shop bathrooms. 1360 01:13:01,072 --> 01:13:04,510 My daughter's in the car waiting. I'm gonna leave now. 1361 01:13:04,554 --> 01:13:07,165 Well, I'm gonna take your unwillingness to pull out your cock 1362 01:13:07,208 --> 01:13:09,472 as a sign that you have a tiny penis. 1363 01:13:09,515 --> 01:13:11,430 You can read it any way you like. 1364 01:13:11,474 --> 01:13:13,650 Okay, I will. 1365 01:13:13,693 --> 01:13:15,391 You still want to kick my ass? 1366 01:13:15,434 --> 01:13:17,131 No. 1367 01:13:17,175 --> 01:13:19,743 Nadine told me about what happened today. 1368 01:13:19,786 --> 01:13:21,571 Her lying about the coffee machine, 1369 01:13:21,614 --> 01:13:24,443 you getting fired and all that. 1370 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:28,186 - Looks like you've had enough for one day. - That's kind of you to say. 1371 01:13:28,229 --> 01:13:30,406 Yeah, well I'm consoled by the fact 1372 01:13:30,449 --> 01:13:33,191 that your penis is unquestionably tiny. 1373 01:13:33,234 --> 01:13:35,454 You're free to go. 1374 01:13:35,498 --> 01:13:38,631 - Good to meet you, Daniel. - You too, Bob. 1375 01:13:41,765 --> 01:13:45,246 - What is that, an Indian burn? - Apache-style! 1376 01:13:48,946 --> 01:13:50,513 Ha! 1377 01:13:55,518 --> 01:13:57,433 Ow! 1378 01:14:03,134 --> 01:14:05,571 Oh, my God. What happened to your arm? 1379 01:14:05,615 --> 01:14:07,660 This dude gave me an Indian burn. 1380 01:14:07,704 --> 01:14:10,489 An Indian burn? I didn't know adults did that. 1381 01:14:10,533 --> 01:14:12,317 Well, neither did I. 1382 01:14:12,360 --> 01:14:14,798 Well, are you gonna be okay? 1383 01:14:15,929 --> 01:14:18,105 Yeah, I think I am. 1384 01:14:19,063 --> 01:14:20,456 Buckle up. 1385 01:14:33,077 --> 01:14:35,906 ♪ We wake up tired 1386 01:14:35,949 --> 01:14:38,604 ♪ We wake up tired again 1387 01:14:45,089 --> 01:14:47,874 ♪ We wake up tired 1388 01:14:47,918 --> 01:14:50,921 ♪ My head is in your hands 1389 01:14:56,970 --> 01:14:59,843 ♪ You hold me tighter 1390 01:14:59,886 --> 01:15:02,759 ♪ Till pressure is too much 1391 01:15:04,456 --> 01:15:07,372 ♪ But I say it's all right 1392 01:15:07,415 --> 01:15:10,593 ♪ 'Cause every night You've got to save me ♪ 1393 01:15:10,636 --> 01:15:13,552 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1394 01:15:13,596 --> 01:15:16,555 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1395 01:15:16,599 --> 01:15:19,340 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1396 01:15:19,384 --> 01:15:22,648 ♪ Oh, every night You've got to save me ♪ 1397 01:15:22,692 --> 01:15:25,608 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1398 01:15:25,651 --> 01:15:28,567 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1399 01:15:28,611 --> 01:15:31,483 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1400 01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:33,659 ♪ Oh, oh 1401 01:15:36,706 --> 01:15:38,838 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1402 01:15:44,888 --> 01:15:47,804 ♪ We wake up tired 1403 01:15:47,847 --> 01:15:50,763 ♪ Your thoughts Are miles from here ♪ 1404 01:15:56,813 --> 01:15:59,859 ♪ I make my mind up 1405 01:15:59,903 --> 01:16:03,167 ♪ About several times a year 1406 01:16:04,647 --> 01:16:08,694 ♪ Really this time Really this time ♪ 1407 01:16:08,738 --> 01:16:11,697 ♪ We want the same thing 1408 01:16:11,741 --> 01:16:14,918 ♪ But our paths Are not the same ♪ 1409 01:16:16,659 --> 01:16:20,880 ♪ Maybe this time, Maybe this time ♪ 1410 01:16:20,924 --> 01:16:23,753 ♪ Just hold me tighter 1411 01:16:23,796 --> 01:16:26,712 ♪ And I'll hold you tighter 1412 01:16:28,758 --> 01:16:31,412 ♪ Say it's all right 1413 01:16:31,456 --> 01:16:34,633 ♪ 'Cause every night You've got to save me ♪ 1414 01:16:34,677 --> 01:16:37,549 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1415 01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:40,508 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1416 01:16:40,552 --> 01:16:43,424 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1417 01:16:43,468 --> 01:16:46,645 ♪ Oh, every night You've got to save me ♪ 1418 01:16:46,689 --> 01:16:49,517 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1419 01:16:49,561 --> 01:16:52,520 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1420 01:16:52,564 --> 01:16:54,740 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1421 01:16:54,784 --> 01:16:58,048 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 1422 01:16:58,091 --> 01:17:01,660 ♪ Every night you've got to 1423 01:17:01,704 --> 01:17:06,883 ♪ Save my spot Till I am perched ♪ 1424 01:17:06,926 --> 01:17:10,582 ♪ From your hands 1425 01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:13,063 ♪ Oh, oh 1426 01:17:13,106 --> 01:17:17,241 ♪ It's all 1427 01:17:18,329 --> 01:17:20,287 ♪ Undone 1428 01:17:29,906 --> 01:17:32,952 ♪ And all of us Will be there ♪ 1429 01:17:32,996 --> 01:17:35,825 ♪ Just hold me tighter 1430 01:17:35,868 --> 01:17:38,784 ♪ I'll hold you tighter 1431 01:17:43,746 --> 01:17:46,705 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1432 01:17:46,749 --> 01:17:49,534 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1433 01:17:49,577 --> 01:17:52,537 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1434 01:17:52,580 --> 01:17:55,322 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1435 01:17:55,366 --> 01:17:58,674 ♪ Oh, every night You've got to save me ♪ 1436 01:17:58,717 --> 01:18:01,589 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1437 01:18:01,633 --> 01:18:04,549 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1438 01:18:04,592 --> 01:18:06,769 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1439 01:18:06,812 --> 01:18:10,686 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, every night You've got to save me ♪ 1440 01:18:10,729 --> 01:18:13,601 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1441 01:18:13,645 --> 01:18:16,517 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1442 01:18:16,561 --> 01:18:19,346 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1443 01:18:19,390 --> 01:18:22,741 ♪ Oh, every night You've got to save me ♪ 1444 01:18:22,785 --> 01:18:25,918 ♪ Every night You've got to save me ♪ 1445 01:18:25,962 --> 01:18:28,573 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me 1446 01:18:28,616 --> 01:18:32,098 - ♪ Every night - ♪ You've got to save me